The Alchemist MJ

Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, offers relationship advice in this book who are in a serious relationship and general knowledge of those interested in learning more about the realities of marriage. His goal is to help people prepare for marriage by addressing important topics and issues that often go unnoticed before marriage.

Key Lessons

1. Being in love is not enough for a successful marriage.
   • Infatuation fades. Real love requires effort, communication and commitment.
2. There is a difference between love and the emotional high of falling in love.
   • You must view love as a choice not just a feeling.
3. You and your partner are not the same person.
   • Both Individuals should acknowledge and respect each other’s different personalities, habits and expectations.
4. How to handle anger and conflicts.
   • Learning healthy ways to resolve conflicts is important. Avoiding conflicts lead to resentment.
5. Apologizing is a skill.
   • Know you and your partners apology language, ways that they accept an apology, to truly resolve an issue and reconcile after mistakes.
6. Forgiveness is essential.
   • Successful marriages require continues forgiveness and grace from both partners.
7. You need to talk about finances.
   • Spending habits, debts, financial goals must be discussed before marriage.
8. Mutual expectations need to be expressed clearly.
   • Communication is the key to a successful marriage so communicate often and directly about your expectations. Never assume your partner knows what you want.
9. You marry into the family
   • In-laws, traditions, and family roles play a huge part in married life.
10. Spiritual compatibility matters.
    • Shared values, faith, and purpose can either bond or divide a couple.
11. Love is a choice you must make daily.
    • Long-lasting marriages are built on daily commitment and selfless actions towards one another.

Practical Takeaways

• Premarital counseling is highly recommended.
• Learn your partner’s love language.
• Discuss major life topics: career, location, faith, finances, children, etc.
• Do not ignore red flags in the name of love or potential.

Have you ever though of your non-negotiables in a relationship? What are they?